Messages
For anyone who might want a message read to Tracy, please feel free to leave a message in the comments. We will be sure to read anything left in the comments to Tracy.
Hospice Update
It’s Kyle writing. Tracy had a series of seizures on Saturday. She was rushed to Massachusetts General Hospital. Scans suggested that Tracy has leptomeningal disease, which means the cancer is in her cerebral spinal fluid. She also has lesions in her frontal lobe, temporal lobe, and cerebellum. The leptomeningal disease is the real issue, though. The steps that could be taken to contain the cancer did not present quality of life for Tracy, and she continues to have seizures. The decision was made to move her to hospice today. Rest assured Tracy is being kept comfortable and surrounded by so much love.
Tracy, my dear Tracy. For seven years we have walked the path, your loving support has strengthened me and others in the Healing Garden Metastatic Group. I have appreciated your humor, your wisdom and your persistence. Your compassion and understanding are unique, so often people search for you on the hollywood squares knowing that you will provide them with insight and practical advice. Awhile ago you and I started texting regularly, checking in, waking each other, and most importantly to remind each other of the love that binds us. I fondly recall those imaginary jaunts through P-Town and other venues, that Ruth, Robin, you and I created to get us through a wait at a doctors appointment. This is not a journey I bought a ticket for but I was fortunate to find a loving, smart, baking queen, book reader traveler who was willing to share their seat with me. i love you and admire you. Alice
ReplyDeleteMy dear Tracy, you have meant so much to me despite the years and the distance. You showed me it was possible to be kind, even when surrounded by unkindness. Your tremendous love for your children has been a model for me. And I have thought often of your strength, humor, and beautiful writing these past years during my own recent health challenges. Thank you for reaching out to me in recent weeks, despite everything you were enduring. I am holding you in my heart now, Lisa R.
ReplyDeleteTracy, what a gift to meet and get to know you. You have lovingly parented so many, including so many people who were not your own children, but who were lucky to cross paths with you in one way or another. You will continue to bring immense love to the world through your children and others you have touched. I wish you peace and love.
ReplyDeleteDearest Tracy - I went into the woods yesterday and read Mary Oliver and thought of you and standing in your kitchen while you pulled something delicious out of the oven and laughed. The heat of the day makes it feel like my thoughts and words are able to enter the ether and connect to you through the miles in an actual physical way. We chatted recently about 58 being a mystical age, odd numbers vs even numbers, the mystery of time, and pride flags. It was such a perfect encapsulation of a conversation with Tracy. You have not simply visited this world - you have taken it in and made a tremendous mark on each of us and taken it into your arms. I am so lucky to know you! I wrap my arms and heart right back around you and your family.
ReplyDeleteDearest Tracy, You have been the hub of our group through 7 years of incredible women coming in and going out. You met each one of them with your full attention and care, bringing wisdom from your own life right where it intersected with theirs, offering the comfort of your words (your invaluable way with words!!) they needed to hear from someone who truly understood. And you did it all with humor too. You are a remarkable human being, the core of what is best in all of us, and deeply imprinted on my life (and all of our lives). All of my love to you and your sweet family.
ReplyDeleteTracy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kindness, humor, compassion, and honesty that you brought to group. You make everyone you meet feel like your friend and feel instantly at home with you. I am so thankful for the opportunity to get to know you over the past five years.
I know you are surrounded by your beautiful, loving family and I wish you peace and comfort and love.
Kathy
Tracy - you are an amazing woman. You leave a loving impact on anyone you meet - that warm smile, great laugh and sparkling eyes. I could easily fill a room with all the positive words that come to mind when thinking of you 🙂 Thank you for always being You!
ReplyDelete❤️❤️
Hi Tracy,
ReplyDeleteIt’s Donna. It’s been a while; really, it’s been a really long time. 7 years…
It was around the time I left Ropes to continue my journey and embark on the next chapter: law school…
It was around the time when I learned of your diagnosis…
Filled with a swirl of emotions I was unable to comprehend. I was unable to process that the first person to whom I opened up to in a professional setting - the first person I met in a corporate space who felt like a person and not the sterile robots corporate can turn people into, the first person who helped me navigate the unfamiliar territory of the professional setting I was in and prepared me for the academic rigors I was readying to embark on was ill…Was terminally sick…
I look back now, “matured” - whatever that means - and understand that we are all terminal; even without a diagnosis or prognosis, that is the cycle of life - to live means that we will die to be reborn…
Tracy, you met me when I was a young buck; a deer in headlights fresh out of college at Ropes, with no true idea of what it meant to be in the corporate world, let alone how to navigate it…
You met me with a daily smile of reassurance as you passed my desk;
Your office was my refuge in the minefield of BigLaw, from rejoicing when the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage to breaking down crying when another unarmed Black person was killed by the police and the constant news cycles on every TV on every floor as CNN continued to show clip after clip and provide commentary after commentary shook me to my core as I questioned how everyone else around us could continue going about their days…
You were one of the first people to see me…and as I transformed more into my true self, from rocking ties to bow ties to cutting off my long hair…
So, when it was time for me to dust off my law school application from a previous cycle where I decided to change the course of my trajectory, leading me to Ropes for a couple of years instead of directly to law school, I eagerly sought your help and guidance.
Unbeknownst to you of my journey, you offered to review my personal statement…filled with gratitude for your willingness to help and shame of where I come from, I shared it with you and you read it right there and then, as I sunk into my seat in my refuge - your office.
When you peeled your eyes from behind the screen, your tear-filled eyes found me as I had made myself as small as possible in that chair, hoping I would be as invisible as I had been sleeping on the subway…
Your heartfelt and genuine words of encouragement and support as you helped to pick me up and put together the pieces of my story showed me the power of storytelling. You taught me the power of storytelling and encouraged me to tell my story unashamedly.
When we finished, I no longer had just a personal statement, I had my personal story, ready to share with and inspire others. Because of you, I was able to apply to the Point Foundation; and, as a Point Scholar, I have spoken on different stages, sharing my story. Because of you, Kyle’s alma mater is now also my alma mater - Go Blue!
Throughout the few years we got to know each other, and I got to meet your family, be it Cameron or Zoe coming in to say hi, or you showing me pictures of the twins, you also showed me in the flesh what it looks like to be queer with a family. Something that was not mainstream when I was growing up, so representation was non-existent. Yet, you gave me a window into my very existence, a window into what life in the country means and could. And, now, because of you, Tracy, I live with my beautiful family - my future wife and our dog (not in the country, per se, but good ole Ann Arbor is our country haven).
Tracy, over the years, as I’ve read your blog posts and been too scared to reach out, I want to thank you for being who you are - for your soulful teachings lighting flames for me to see, for me to see myself; for me to see the world; for me to see what is possible.
With the deepest gratitude and love,
Donna
Tracy - I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and sending you a lot of love! I remember meeting you all those years ago on the 10th floor at 1IP and feel blessed that I got to know you and work together over the years. You are one of the most amazing people I have every met! I've marveled at how you have fought for yourself and your kids over these years. I wish you peace and love with your nearest and dearest surrounding you. Love, Monika
ReplyDeleteWe’d only spoken a few times when you passed our house on your daily dog walk. I think I mostly apologized about the behavior of our dogs - the pawing at windows and ferocious barking of two very nervous pups. But then you mentioned my little library and then you mentioned having some books to donate. I didn’t expect the boxes and boxes of books I picked up from you. But I’ve gratefully shared them and read them and still have a lot to continue sharing. I’m so sorry for not reaching out sooner to let you know I was thinking about you and wondering how you were and if you had any new book recommendations. We don’t really know one another well and I overthought. I hope you are surrounded by those you love and all the words you want to say and hear are spoken.
ReplyDelete