on the other hand.

I think I hurt the feelings of the dear friend who referred to this time as the end of my days, and I want to apology.  I really meant to say that even me, with stage four cancer, can't bear to think of this time as the end of times.  Like Gloria Steinem.  And that maybe that is odd to people looking in from the outside. 
but you know, my friend was right.
the cancer is back--I found out at the oncologist's on Friday.  so mysterious this disease--it's like a shadow on a gray day. 
so I'm not going to California for now.  I have a couple of weeks here where we will find out what my treatment options are now--they are narrower but there is some hope I win the genetic lottery and qualify for a different targeted therapy,  Of course I will let you know.  I'll send up a flare for help, or a discreet fireworks to celebrate.  Look to the night sky.

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