Obi-Wan Kenobi
These days, we have been working our way through some difficult conversations with the five year-old twins with all the deftness and agility of elephants dancing Swan Lake.
Asher has picked up on my propensity to label repetitive tasks which are part and parcel of having a body "boring." Asher: why do I have to pee every night before bed? Me: I know, it's boring, isn't it? You just have to suffer through it with the rest of the human race. Yesterday he informed Kyle that he thinks death is "boring" and is also really ticked off that alligators and crocodiles live longer than humans. File that under unfair and boring.
On the vague theory that I would die when they were relatively young since I'm what they call an older mom when it comes to the twins (I was what they call a younger mom when it came to the big kids, but only because other 24 year olds in graduate school didn't feel the need to immediately procreate at the same time as they wrote thousands of precious words only they and their dissertation advisor would ever read--your mother might pretend, but I wouldn't suggest quizzing her on anything past page ten), and because I believe in answering all questions your children pose to you directly, as the topic of death has come up over the last year or so, I have answered them. One thing I say is, if I die, and you have a question or a problem, listen very carefully to your heart and you're going to hear me. You don't have to take my advice, but you'll know my view and you will know I am there.
Last night we watched the first Star Wars movie. I forgot Obi-Wan Kenobi dies in the very first movie (I heard those sighs of derision from all the real fans out there--let's keep in mind I'm so old I saw this when it was released, on a rainy day during our annual summer trek to Myrtle Beach (the beach destination for landlocked residents of Ohio), before VCRs, before the internet--so could not immediately binge rewatch and commit every last detail to memory). Anyhow, later in the movie, when Luke was able to hear Obi-Wan Kenobi's voice in his head, telling him to remember, the force will be with him always, my children looked up at me with delight. He's dead! But Luke can hear him! He's in Luke's heart!
Asher has picked up on my propensity to label repetitive tasks which are part and parcel of having a body "boring." Asher: why do I have to pee every night before bed? Me: I know, it's boring, isn't it? You just have to suffer through it with the rest of the human race. Yesterday he informed Kyle that he thinks death is "boring" and is also really ticked off that alligators and crocodiles live longer than humans. File that under unfair and boring.
On the vague theory that I would die when they were relatively young since I'm what they call an older mom when it comes to the twins (I was what they call a younger mom when it came to the big kids, but only because other 24 year olds in graduate school didn't feel the need to immediately procreate at the same time as they wrote thousands of precious words only they and their dissertation advisor would ever read--your mother might pretend, but I wouldn't suggest quizzing her on anything past page ten), and because I believe in answering all questions your children pose to you directly, as the topic of death has come up over the last year or so, I have answered them. One thing I say is, if I die, and you have a question or a problem, listen very carefully to your heart and you're going to hear me. You don't have to take my advice, but you'll know my view and you will know I am there.
Last night we watched the first Star Wars movie. I forgot Obi-Wan Kenobi dies in the very first movie (I heard those sighs of derision from all the real fans out there--let's keep in mind I'm so old I saw this when it was released, on a rainy day during our annual summer trek to Myrtle Beach (the beach destination for landlocked residents of Ohio), before VCRs, before the internet--so could not immediately binge rewatch and commit every last detail to memory). Anyhow, later in the movie, when Luke was able to hear Obi-Wan Kenobi's voice in his head, telling him to remember, the force will be with him always, my children looked up at me with delight. He's dead! But Luke can hear him! He's in Luke's heart!
We're muddling our way through. But if I sound like Alec Guinness in the twins' heads after I die, and I intone things like "Remember the force"--I can live with that.
Comments
Post a Comment