a radio was on.

Kyle is working round-the-clock right now, so I wanted to let you all know that I had a set of scans last week that showed nothing. As in the cancer had neither increased nor decreased. This is good news. I have these scans every three months to see if the cancer has managed to mutate in a way that the medicine no longer treats, and now I am good for another three months. I had a great talk with my therapist--if you are close to me, you know I love my therapist in a way that makes it confusing to me that I can't just have her over for seder--and she helped me understand my grief at hearing the news that the scans were fine. What I really wanted to hear, in the world of fantastic miracles, the land where you open a wardrobe door and tumble into Narnia, is that I don't have cancer anymore. So I had to muddle my way to gratitude over the last couple of days. In the next three months I hope to write more, read more, eat meals with friends and families more, and spend some real time

Kyle is working round-the-clock right now, so I wanted to let you all know that I had a set of scans last week that showed nothing. As in the cancer had neither increased nor decreased. This is good news. I have these scans every three months to see if the cancer has managed to mutate in a way that the medicine no longer treats, and now I am good for another three months. I had a great talk with my therapist--if you are close to me, you know I love my therapist in a way that makes it confusing to me that I can't just have her over for seder--and she helped me understand my grief at hearing the news that the scans were fine. What I really wanted to hear, in the world of fantastic miracles, the land where you open a wardrobe door and tumble into Narnia, is that I don't have cancer anymore. So I had to muddle my way to gratitude over the last couple of days. In the next three months I hope to write more, read more, eat meals with friends and families more, and spend some real tim

A thing for fools, this, Love, But a holy thing, To love what death can touch. Judah Halevi wrote these word--he was a doctor and a poet who was born in Spain in 1075. He died in Israel, in 1141. I wake and feel the deep wracking cough of my child before I am woke and my own bones, aching and riddled with cancer (how much? and how much is too much?), drag me from my bed to get the thick, syrupy elixir to him before he realizes there is a whole night out here, with the possibility of television, tucked in snug, next to me. I wrote those words last night and friends, of late, it has been a darker time for me, where loving feels like grieving too much. It might be the edge of winter pressing in. Zoe and I walked yesterday in the bog, which was gray and dreary. The wind bit us, and then two gorgeous, wildly groomed standard poodles were suddenly leaping at us with joy, but they were too much, and scratched my cold hand in their hello, and I was angry at the woman walking them off leash, sc

A thing for fools, this, Love, But a holy thing, To love what death can touch. Judah Halevi wrote these word--he was a doctor and a poet who was born in Spain in 1075. He died in Israel, in 1141. I wake and feel the deep wracking cough of my child before I am woke and my own bones, aching and riddled with cancer (how much? and how much is too much?), drag me from my bed to get the thick, syrupy elixir to him before he realizes there is a whole night out here, with the possibility of television, tucked in snug, next to me. I wrote those words last night and friends, of late, it has been a darker time for me, where loving feels like grieving too much. It might be the edge of winter pressing in. Zoe and I walked yesterday in the bog, which was gray and dreary. The wind bit us, and then two gorgeous, wildly groomed standard poodles were suddenly leaping at us with joy, but they were too much, and scratched my cold hand in their hello, and I was angry at the w